Thursday, March 19, 2009

Ending Domestic Violence

With the latest news about Chris Brown allegedly hitting Rihanna, there have been some important discussions come up on the news. Oprah has had a special on this issue for two weeks. I applaud her efforts greatly!

Oprah had a show on 3/12/09, that talked about the women being abused. This show was mostly directed toward teenagers. However, no woman or anyone should tolerate hitting, pushing, grabbing, threatening, or name calling. Oprah has said time and again, "If a man hits once, he will hit again." If a man does this in a relationship it is important for a woman to walk away for a time, until he receives treatment and recovery.

I am glad that Oprah, not only focused on the appropriate steps women should take, but she talked to the abusive men as well on 3/19/09. This is the core issue at hand. Sure, women can keep walking away, but it does not stop the cycle of abuse. The only way to stop the cycle is for the men to start dealing with the issues that led them to be abusive. I like the way Kevin Powell puts it on Oprah's show. ALL MEN need to step up to the plate, and educate their sons, friends, co-workers, how to be a real compassionate and peaceful man. You see, real men are not tough, but have the guts to back off and turn the other cheek, just as Christ did.

Here is Kevin Powell's seven steps ending violence against women:

1. Own up
to the mistakes. Take responsibility for your actions without blaming others for your own faults.
2. Seek Help
Go to therapy or counseling. Come to terms with the issues that caused you to be violent to begin with.
3. Listen with your eyes and your ears. Listen to the stories of women around you. Accept them as equal to men. Men are not made to dominate women despite what our culture may say to you.
4. Be the change
Give up the power and the addiction of thinking this is a male dominated society. In Kevin Powell's words, "And we men and boys need to come to a realization that sexism—the belief that women and girls are inferior to men and boys, that this really is a man's world, and the female is just here to serve our needs regardless of how we treat them—is as destructive to ourselves as it is to women and girls. As I've said in many speeches through the years, even if you are not the kind of man who would ever yell at a woman, curse at a woman, touch a woman in a public or private space without her permission, hit or beat a woman, much less kill a woman—you are just as guilty if you see other men and boys doing these things and you say or do nothing to stop them."
5. Become an Ally
Stand up to men who abuse their other women in relationships. Be a friend to a lady that is experiencing abuse. Lead her to do the right thing, in walking away from the confrontations.
6. Challenge Others
Challenge other males about their physical, emotional, and verbal abuse towards women. Have those difficult conversations, to prevent it from happening again.
7. Create a New Kind of Man
Your character will be defined by what you watch, you listen to, what you admire. Stand to be who you are, something that does not demean or put women down to be inferior.

It takes all of us working together to end this horrible nightmare. For further information on ending domestic violence go to.

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